July 25, 2020
I'm sari, meowmy. I have been a very bad boy. That's what I 'm saying to her, but I'm not sari at all. I had an illustrious 2-day Bollywood Bash with Indian delicacies like Rogan Josh treats, Lassi, and more!
#vrs121 showed off her taut and toned tummy as she sashayed and swiveled those sexy hips of hers as she belly danced the night away. #Senor_Tacos_Day played his guitar purr-fectly, and I got wasted and danced atop my cat tree to only the finest Bollywood beats! I then hurled behind a fake palm tree as I seemed to have partaken in a little too much joy of the evening.
I made sure to sniff a little of the quality "stuff" I created with a few fine and foxy Russian Blues whose exotic purring left me wanting more. I just love those foreign beauties. They have such intoxicating style, melodic accents, and international prowess that leaves an all-American boy like me mewing like a kitten.
I thought #vrs121 was gonna get kicked out for indecency by the cops and security for her crude and saucy moves. Several of the kittays called the cops, but I was able to use my cool moves and suave language to keep her out of the slammer. I know a few of the higher ups and they make sure none of my pawties ever get shutdown.
#misty_jr_mainecoon was finer than a water fountain on a hot summer's day. Too bad she has a man. That girl could have this Tabasco tiger in a New York minute. Her arresting looks and non-stop curves send me into overdrive.
Her man, got all bent out of shape that she danced with me at the pawty. She said he gave her permission, but he's denying it all now. He's just jealous that his woman wants this senior, sensitive, and spectacular tabby all to herself. Just say the words Misty and I am all yours, girl.
Right now, I'm pretty wasted. I'm still trying to sleep it off. I've tried to get up several times, but my paws just aren't working right. One paw goes north, one paw, goes south, and the other goes east. I guess I'll just have to take a chill for another hour or so until the Caturday night pawties begin. I'll be hanging from the rafters after a short tongue bath and a quick energizing meal.
The night awaits and what shall it bring? The terror that is Butchy Boy!
Saturday, July 25, 2020
Sunday, July 19, 2020
Product Production and Single Again!: July 19, 2020
July 19, 2020
So Senor Tacos Day and I are producing a highbrow nip with a bite. It will be crab, tuna and salmon infused catnip for the discerning cat. I think it will be a best seller. We will only create it from the finest freshly caught salmon and tuna. We will be using king crab in honor of our friend King_Chett.
Today, has been a rather lazy, stormy day. The winds have kicked up and I am in a rather somber mood on days such as this. I am also bummed after becoming single once again.
I thought it was love at first meow with Micki, but alas my heart has been broken in a million pieces. While she is sassy, hot and fun, I don't know where I stand with her and I have decided singledom, pawties, and 'nip are the life for me. I'm sure there are plenty of chicas willing to date a rough and tumble ginger with a cauliflower ear who wears his heart on his sleeve.
Below is my paw-file on LoveMeMeow. Tell me if I need to edit it. If so, place your changes in the comments below.
Name: Butch
Age: 11 but feelin' like a kitten
Eye Color: Celadon Green
Hair Color: Ginger and White
Height: Just Right
Favorite Activities: Watching birds and squirrels from my window, playing with cat toys, noshing on treats, watching and playing Cat Games, and basking in the sun for hours.
Ideal Woman: Long-legged, silky-furred lady who knows how to have a good time.
Are you looking for a cat who makes you feel like a million purrs? Well, ladies you've come to the right litter box. I am a senior gentleman who knows how to treat a lady right. I will woo you with my ginger good looks and chivalrous ways. Candlelight dinners complete with Temptations are on the menu, showerings of gifts such as floral-infused catnip and cat grass will be at your disposal, and don't forget watching squirrels and birds from my palatial sunroom perch until the early morning hours. If this is what you desire, please dm me with a photo so I can see your purr-fect beauty.
What do you think? I know right, the ladies will come slinking my way faster than alley cats to garbage cans. Well, gotta go, need to check out my paw-file. I hear the dings of notifications already. 😘😘😘😸
So Senor Tacos Day and I are producing a highbrow nip with a bite. It will be crab, tuna and salmon infused catnip for the discerning cat. I think it will be a best seller. We will only create it from the finest freshly caught salmon and tuna. We will be using king crab in honor of our friend King_Chett.
Today, has been a rather lazy, stormy day. The winds have kicked up and I am in a rather somber mood on days such as this. I am also bummed after becoming single once again.
I thought it was love at first meow with Micki, but alas my heart has been broken in a million pieces. While she is sassy, hot and fun, I don't know where I stand with her and I have decided singledom, pawties, and 'nip are the life for me. I'm sure there are plenty of chicas willing to date a rough and tumble ginger with a cauliflower ear who wears his heart on his sleeve.
Below is my paw-file on LoveMeMeow. Tell me if I need to edit it. If so, place your changes in the comments below.
Name: Butch
Age: 11 but feelin' like a kitten
Eye Color: Celadon Green
Hair Color: Ginger and White
Height: Just Right
Favorite Activities: Watching birds and squirrels from my window, playing with cat toys, noshing on treats, watching and playing Cat Games, and basking in the sun for hours.
Ideal Woman: Long-legged, silky-furred lady who knows how to have a good time.
Are you looking for a cat who makes you feel like a million purrs? Well, ladies you've come to the right litter box. I am a senior gentleman who knows how to treat a lady right. I will woo you with my ginger good looks and chivalrous ways. Candlelight dinners complete with Temptations are on the menu, showerings of gifts such as floral-infused catnip and cat grass will be at your disposal, and don't forget watching squirrels and birds from my palatial sunroom perch until the early morning hours. If this is what you desire, please dm me with a photo so I can see your purr-fect beauty.
What do you think? I know right, the ladies will come slinking my way faster than alley cats to garbage cans. Well, gotta go, need to check out my paw-file. I hear the dings of notifications already. 😘😘😘😸
Saturday, July 18, 2020
Crazy Days, Pawty Nights and Our Kittay Weed Farm: July 18, 2020
July 18, 2020
First of all this week has been way too emotionally-draining for me. I have had way too many emotional highs and one particularly low low. This low happened when I fell off the roof of my clam shack cabana during a cruise and clam bake I was hosting.
There I was, looking like a boss, in my Paw-ty City mustache, with a Modelo in my paw, shaking my bootay to Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off" when all of a sudden a nasty attack of rubber legs happened. My bootay swiveled one way and my legs another and bam!, next thing I know I'm laying in a vat of paw-ticulary delicious shrimp cocktail.
Swallowing my pride, I called for help from my Insta pals, Senor Tacos Day and King Chett who reluctantly, but very punctually, lifted me to my feet and hauled me over to a nice quiet area of the beach where I could sleep off some of that pristine catnip and Modelo.
After awakening, I heard a strange squeal coming from the back of the clam shack cabana. To my shock and awe I saw my pal, Senor Tacos Day with a striking Ragdoll who nearly knocked me out by her lustrous fur, stunning blue eyes, and bountiful tail. Man, that guy gets the best chicas!
He and Ramona, I heard him say, were getting some major mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Their fur was mussed and and they had that faraway look of love about them. I hope this little story doesn't somehow end up on the Internet. Senor Taco denied this little encounter, but I know what my peepers saw and it was an eyeful.
I gingerly walked away and spent the rest of the night sitting in the hot tub with two amazing Abyssinians, Amelia and Liza. Those girls were something. What a couple of babes.
The day after, I took a rest, but bought some land in Purrsylvania with the deblomes I found while hunting for treasure on the beach during the pawty I was hosting the night before. Senor Taco and I found some very rare, historical Spanish Deblomes from the 1500's! Those coins were out of this world. They gleamed brighter than a sequined dress on the disco floor.
Along with the incredible views and sizable property, I was able to construct some greenhouses for year round production of kittay weed. Those cold, snowy, Purr-syvania winters will not stop our production. No siree, Bobcat.
Senor Taco suggested that I buy a jet for our treks to Purr-sylvania from Florida and Illinois. I did this promptly. He really is a genius as far as business matters are concerned. I made sure to have the jet outfitted with gold litter boxes for a touch of luxury. Who says cats can't pimp out their environment? The jet is looking pretty and snazzy. It is a chick magnet, if I say so myself.
Today, King Chett is having a stache pawty in Purr-sylvania to promote his 1k followers. I have a date with my dream gal, Micki_Minajesty. Oh that girl is a silky, white, goddess. That one brown eye and one blue eye drives the panther in me wild.
I was able to whip up a batch of Senor Taco's and I's Furmigo House Brand Catnip. The subtle flavors of chocolate, coconut and Patron will have the kitties flocking to our farm to get just a smattering of our high-quality, smooth, and oh-so-addicting 'nip.
That about wraps up the craziness of my week. I'm getting ready to contact a few distributors so that Senor Taco and I can hit the big time and get our kittay weed in stores near you.
First of all this week has been way too emotionally-draining for me. I have had way too many emotional highs and one particularly low low. This low happened when I fell off the roof of my clam shack cabana during a cruise and clam bake I was hosting.
There I was, looking like a boss, in my Paw-ty City mustache, with a Modelo in my paw, shaking my bootay to Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off" when all of a sudden a nasty attack of rubber legs happened. My bootay swiveled one way and my legs another and bam!, next thing I know I'm laying in a vat of paw-ticulary delicious shrimp cocktail.
Swallowing my pride, I called for help from my Insta pals, Senor Tacos Day and King Chett who reluctantly, but very punctually, lifted me to my feet and hauled me over to a nice quiet area of the beach where I could sleep off some of that pristine catnip and Modelo.
After awakening, I heard a strange squeal coming from the back of the clam shack cabana. To my shock and awe I saw my pal, Senor Tacos Day with a striking Ragdoll who nearly knocked me out by her lustrous fur, stunning blue eyes, and bountiful tail. Man, that guy gets the best chicas!
He and Ramona, I heard him say, were getting some major mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Their fur was mussed and and they had that faraway look of love about them. I hope this little story doesn't somehow end up on the Internet. Senor Taco denied this little encounter, but I know what my peepers saw and it was an eyeful.
I gingerly walked away and spent the rest of the night sitting in the hot tub with two amazing Abyssinians, Amelia and Liza. Those girls were something. What a couple of babes.
The day after, I took a rest, but bought some land in Purrsylvania with the deblomes I found while hunting for treasure on the beach during the pawty I was hosting the night before. Senor Taco and I found some very rare, historical Spanish Deblomes from the 1500's! Those coins were out of this world. They gleamed brighter than a sequined dress on the disco floor.
Along with the incredible views and sizable property, I was able to construct some greenhouses for year round production of kittay weed. Those cold, snowy, Purr-syvania winters will not stop our production. No siree, Bobcat.
Senor Taco suggested that I buy a jet for our treks to Purr-sylvania from Florida and Illinois. I did this promptly. He really is a genius as far as business matters are concerned. I made sure to have the jet outfitted with gold litter boxes for a touch of luxury. Who says cats can't pimp out their environment? The jet is looking pretty and snazzy. It is a chick magnet, if I say so myself.
Today, King Chett is having a stache pawty in Purr-sylvania to promote his 1k followers. I have a date with my dream gal, Micki_Minajesty. Oh that girl is a silky, white, goddess. That one brown eye and one blue eye drives the panther in me wild.
I was able to whip up a batch of Senor Taco's and I's Furmigo House Brand Catnip. The subtle flavors of chocolate, coconut and Patron will have the kitties flocking to our farm to get just a smattering of our high-quality, smooth, and oh-so-addicting 'nip.
That about wraps up the craziness of my week. I'm getting ready to contact a few distributors so that Senor Taco and I can hit the big time and get our kittay weed in stores near you.
Friday, July 10, 2020
Luau-dicrous Mayhem!: Paw-ty Animals!: July 10, 2020
July 10, 2020
It was a wild and furry night last night! Senor_Taco_Day of Instagram suggested I hold a luau for my feline fellows and a luau I held. I made sure everyone was lei-ed, turned up the Cat Stevens, Cat-hrine McPhee, Pussycat Dolls and any feline-infused singer or group up high on the stereo, whipped up some catnip shooters, and made sure my guest were well-fed with an assortment of poi and salmon-flavored foods and treats.
The party took a turn for the worst when the hoomans decided to call the purr-lice because of a noise violations at 2:30 in the morning. They thought there was too much caterwauling, meowing and feline debauchery occurring at such a late hour. Late in hooman eyes, purr-fection in kitty time.
The purr-lice came, but the man was easy bribed with catnip shooters and snacks. The last we saw of him he was purring like a kitten and dancing in my catbed to "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls.
The kitties and I held a Let's Get Lei-ed! and Hula Hoop Contest too! The competition was fierce and a few cat fights broke out. The cattitude really kicks up after a few drinks, you know. Thankfully, everyone was spayed and neutered, so no hanky-panky occurred. Otherwise, it would have been like Sodom and Gomorrah Kitty-Style.
We rocked the house until the sun came up and we stumbled and swayed as we walked back to our house jails and back to the hoomans. When the hoomans sleep, the cats play. The hoomans will be none the wiser. We will look like the sweet, ridiculously adorable and sleepy creatures we are.
We may be a little sleepier and more rambunctious today than ususal, but they'll never know. The hoomans will chalk it up to the weather or us just being "cats". Only we know our secrets and we aren't telling anybody!!
The next paw-ty will be coming up very soon. It will be a clam bake and cruise. Who knows what mayhem we will purr-sue during the next shindig, but I purr-romise it will be the cat's meow.
Is It Hot in Here or Just Me?: Heatwave July 6, 2020
July 6, 2020
Something really frosted my flakes last night. I was hotter than a chili pepper. The hoomans decided to not let me out in the sunroom because it was too hot!
I am a descendant of ferocious, yet magnificently cute, desert cats who roamed the deserts of the Middle East. We bathed in the sunlight and heat, hunted for small mammals, and were not limited to small, enclosed places in the family home. We were not bound to our owners, but to our whims and instincts only.
Now look what we have become. Sad, pampered creatures whose only pleasures in life are naps, treats, and looking through cage-like screen doors at the world around us. This is a disgusting waste of our innate tracking and hunting abilities. We are stifled shells of what we once were.
I needed to stand in front of a window, looking like a pathetic dog, wagging my tail, in order to see a small glimpse of my sunroom haven. The place of pure joy and happiness that has been torn from the clutches of my paws. The warmth of the concrete floor on my sleek, muscular stomach, the melodic, running of the fountain lost and gone. Just a sweet fantasy, that shall be mine, one way or another...
Something really frosted my flakes last night. I was hotter than a chili pepper. The hoomans decided to not let me out in the sunroom because it was too hot!
I am a descendant of ferocious, yet magnificently cute, desert cats who roamed the deserts of the Middle East. We bathed in the sunlight and heat, hunted for small mammals, and were not limited to small, enclosed places in the family home. We were not bound to our owners, but to our whims and instincts only.
Now look what we have become. Sad, pampered creatures whose only pleasures in life are naps, treats, and looking through cage-like screen doors at the world around us. This is a disgusting waste of our innate tracking and hunting abilities. We are stifled shells of what we once were.
I needed to stand in front of a window, looking like a pathetic dog, wagging my tail, in order to see a small glimpse of my sunroom haven. The place of pure joy and happiness that has been torn from the clutches of my paws. The warmth of the concrete floor on my sleek, muscular stomach, the melodic, running of the fountain lost and gone. Just a sweet fantasy, that shall be mine, one way or another...
Sunday, July 5, 2020
Fourth of July Aftermath: Feeling It ! July 5, 2020
July 5, 2020
Whoa, it hit me like a ton of bricks, friends. I paw-tied way too hard. Sometimes, I forget I'm a senior and go overboard with the kittenish antics. I consumed one two many Catnip Jello Shots, watched Cat Games to the wee hours of the morning, and pounced on my ball toy like a hooman on Girl Scout Cookies.
I am one pooped feline. Just imagine a marching band marching its way through my head, my limbs being as wobbly as jelly, and your room feeling as bright as a Christmas Tree. This is me at this very meow-nute. When does this insanity end?
I've tried the nap, egg, and meow-jauna like my Insta followers suggested but to no avail. I guess you know what that means. No more paw-tying for me... until next year.
Whoa, it hit me like a ton of bricks, friends. I paw-tied way too hard. Sometimes, I forget I'm a senior and go overboard with the kittenish antics. I consumed one two many Catnip Jello Shots, watched Cat Games to the wee hours of the morning, and pounced on my ball toy like a hooman on Girl Scout Cookies.
I am one pooped feline. Just imagine a marching band marching its way through my head, my limbs being as wobbly as jelly, and your room feeling as bright as a Christmas Tree. This is me at this very meow-nute. When does this insanity end?
I've tried the nap, egg, and meow-jauna like my Insta followers suggested but to no avail. I guess you know what that means. No more paw-tying for me... until next year.
Saturday, July 4, 2020
Independent Spirit, Independence Day: July 4, 2020
July 4, 2020
Okay, so I am not the happiest of cats today. Why, you say? My meow-my went to socialize at the humane society and left me with sister and paw-ther. All sister wants to do is snap pics for Insta with that shiny, pink phone of hers and dad sits and reads. It is boooring to say the least.
I've had lunch, looked out the window for the millionth time, and surveyed my kingdom as I languidly walk through the halls of my castle. I've also groomed, had treats, and watched my favorite Cat Games video. It's only 2:56, friends. What's a kitty to do?
It's Independence Day and I am not fulfilling my independence! Where's the paw-ty and where's the fun? It's snoozeville in here. I can't wait for meow-my to get back. She really knows how to rev my engine. We have a blast together. We play with feather toys, roll my favorite clear ball around on the floor, and have an all-around fur- bulous time.
I'm sure paw-ther will fall asleep with his head in his book and sister is going to get all paw-paratzzi on me. I've thought of the purr-fect idea!
I'm gonna take a nap and they will think I'm sleepy and they won't try to bother me at all. Unfortunately, sleep is not my escape from sis. I know she will come and pet me if she feels I am sleeping too long.
Have a Happy Fourth of July, kitties! Make sure not to be too frightened of the fireworks. Just hold your meow-mys paw and think happy thoughts of chasing mice as the fireworks burst through the air!
Okay, so I am not the happiest of cats today. Why, you say? My meow-my went to socialize at the humane society and left me with sister and paw-ther. All sister wants to do is snap pics for Insta with that shiny, pink phone of hers and dad sits and reads. It is boooring to say the least.
I've had lunch, looked out the window for the millionth time, and surveyed my kingdom as I languidly walk through the halls of my castle. I've also groomed, had treats, and watched my favorite Cat Games video. It's only 2:56, friends. What's a kitty to do?
It's Independence Day and I am not fulfilling my independence! Where's the paw-ty and where's the fun? It's snoozeville in here. I can't wait for meow-my to get back. She really knows how to rev my engine. We have a blast together. We play with feather toys, roll my favorite clear ball around on the floor, and have an all-around fur- bulous time.
I'm sure paw-ther will fall asleep with his head in his book and sister is going to get all paw-paratzzi on me. I've thought of the purr-fect idea!
I'm gonna take a nap and they will think I'm sleepy and they won't try to bother me at all. Unfortunately, sleep is not my escape from sis. I know she will come and pet me if she feels I am sleeping too long.
Have a Happy Fourth of July, kitties! Make sure not to be too frightened of the fireworks. Just hold your meow-mys paw and think happy thoughts of chasing mice as the fireworks burst through the air!
Welcome To My Domain: My First Blog Entry
Hey Fur friends!
My name is Butch. I am spunky senior with a crinkly ear who feels I need to tell my story to the world! I will be posting at least one journal-style post a week about my life in the furhouse with my family consisting of an overprotective meow-my, my sister who tortures me with her camera phone for Instagram pics, and a dad who likes to sit and read while I bask in my awesomeness. So watch out pals, the Butchmeister's poison pen is getting ready to fill this blog with musings of my life as an indoor kitty with plenty of cattitude.
Why not follow along and live my adventures with me?
To view photos of my handsomeness, view my Instagram feed @lifeisbetterwithbutch.
Instagram: Life Is Better With Butch
My name is Butch. I am spunky senior with a crinkly ear who feels I need to tell my story to the world! I will be posting at least one journal-style post a week about my life in the furhouse with my family consisting of an overprotective meow-my, my sister who tortures me with her camera phone for Instagram pics, and a dad who likes to sit and read while I bask in my awesomeness. So watch out pals, the Butchmeister's poison pen is getting ready to fill this blog with musings of my life as an indoor kitty with plenty of cattitude.
Why not follow along and live my adventures with me?
To view photos of my handsomeness, view my Instagram feed @lifeisbetterwithbutch.
Instagram: Life Is Better With Butch
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