July 18, 2020
First of all this week has been way too emotionally-draining for me. I have had way too many emotional highs and one particularly low low. This low happened when I fell off the roof of my clam shack cabana during a cruise and clam bake I was hosting.
There I was, looking like a boss, in my Paw-ty City mustache, with a Modelo in my paw, shaking my bootay to Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off" when all of a sudden a nasty attack of rubber legs happened. My bootay swiveled one way and my legs another and bam!, next thing I know I'm laying in a vat of paw-ticulary delicious shrimp cocktail.
Swallowing my pride, I called for help from my Insta pals, Senor Tacos Day and King Chett who reluctantly, but very punctually, lifted me to my feet and hauled me over to a nice quiet area of the beach where I could sleep off some of that pristine catnip and Modelo.
After awakening, I heard a strange squeal coming from the back of the clam shack cabana. To my shock and awe I saw my pal, Senor Tacos Day with a striking Ragdoll who nearly knocked me out by her lustrous fur, stunning blue eyes, and bountiful tail. Man, that guy gets the best chicas!
He and Ramona, I heard him say, were getting some major mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Their fur was mussed and and they had that faraway look of love about them. I hope this little story doesn't somehow end up on the Internet. Senor Taco denied this little encounter, but I know what my peepers saw and it was an eyeful.
I gingerly walked away and spent the rest of the night sitting in the hot tub with two amazing Abyssinians, Amelia and Liza. Those girls were something. What a couple of babes.
The day after, I took a rest, but bought some land in Purrsylvania with the deblomes I found while hunting for treasure on the beach during the pawty I was hosting the night before. Senor Taco and I found some very rare, historical Spanish Deblomes from the 1500's! Those coins were out of this world. They gleamed brighter than a sequined dress on the disco floor.
Along with the incredible views and sizable property, I was able to construct some greenhouses for year round production of kittay weed. Those cold, snowy, Purr-syvania winters will not stop our production. No siree, Bobcat.
Senor Taco suggested that I buy a jet for our treks to Purr-sylvania from Florida and Illinois. I did this promptly. He really is a genius as far as business matters are concerned. I made sure to have the jet outfitted with gold litter boxes for a touch of luxury. Who says cats can't pimp out their environment? The jet is looking pretty and snazzy. It is a chick magnet, if I say so myself.
Today, King Chett is having a stache pawty in Purr-sylvania to promote his 1k followers. I have a date with my dream gal, Micki_Minajesty. Oh that girl is a silky, white, goddess. That one brown eye and one blue eye drives the panther in me wild.
I was able to whip up a batch of Senor Taco's and I's Furmigo House Brand Catnip. The subtle flavors of chocolate, coconut and Patron will have the kitties flocking to our farm to get just a smattering of our high-quality, smooth, and oh-so-addicting 'nip.
That about wraps up the craziness of my week. I'm getting ready to contact a few distributors so that Senor Taco and I can hit the big time and get our kittay weed in stores near you.
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